Seeing so many baldies (American slang for bald person) in school, I was very tempted to shave my head too. Ever since I was a baby, the only time I was bald was when I was one month old.
Just entering into university, be cool even if it is only once seems wonderful. I made up my mind and walked into the barbershop. Inside, there were a few people waiting. The barber asked: 「You have such short hair, do you want a crew cut?」
I said: 「No, shave my head.」
The barber laughed and told the rest of the people to wait. 「Let him go first, it』ll only take five minutes.」
Ten minutes later, I walked out of the barbershop, feeling free.
Touching my head, felt a bit pricky. Felt like a monk. Who knows, maybe my last incarnation was a monk.
Returning to dormitory, my dorm mates were astonished. After laughing aloud for a while, all of them couldn』t resist themselves to come up for a touch.
「Um, feels nice!」
「Go! Go! Go! Is my head a mop? Next time someone touches my head again, I』ll be pissed. 」
June 5th, sunny and feeling awful
When I surfed the net today, I couldn』t help it and told my classmate in another city. Incredibly, he returned the message with a joke:
「A girl was taking a shower. Her parrot yelled: 『I saw it, I saw it!』 The girl got upset and scolded the parrot: 『Next time you shout, I』ll pull off all your feathers!』
The next day, a baldie came and visited the girl. The parrot flew to the guest』s shoulder and asked: 『Hey, you saw it too?』」
After the story, my friend kept on asking me: 「You, did you do something bad?」
I almost fainted in anger…
June 10th, sunny and bored
In the past few days, life has been extremely boring…
This afternoon, I didn』t attend one of my classes. It is normal that some people will not show up for one or more of their classes. This wasn』t the first time for me either. After half a period however, the teacher glanced around and said: 「Someone is missing. Not everybody is here.」
Everyone below yelled: 「Everybody is here. No one is missing.」 The teacher said slowly: 「Where』s the baldie? I remember there is a baldie in this class, he hasn』t come today?」
When my classmate told me about this, my heart cringed. Looks like I won』t be able to skip classes anymore…
555555…
June 11th, please don』t be sunny anymore
Due to yesterday』s event, I attended all of my six classes. Now, new problems arose. Whenever I dozed off, teacher』s 「caring」 glance would always float by and reach me.
「That bald head student, are you done sleeping?」
My only choice was to lift my eyes and look at him.
Most of the teachers outside our department often don』t recognize us. When calling rolls, they have to look at the attendance sheet. Like winning prizes, whoever is being called upon, whoever got tough luck. Now, everything is just dandy. The teacher doesn』t bother looking at the attendance sheet anymore. Whenever there』s a question, the bald student please…
Life is awful.
June 18th, please rain
Finally I convinced two of my classmates to shave their heads too. Now, we have three baldies in our class. My nightmare is now reduced by two thirds.
I am very grateful to them. Thinking of them as confidants. In today』s English class, I decided to sit with them. Baldie against baldie, light brighten half of the sky, also brighten teacher』s eyes.
We were carelessly listening when the English teacher said: 「The second bald student from the 2nd roll, please get up.」
I looked to the left then looked to the right, certain of my own geographic location and stood up unwillingly.
「Please tell me how to say 1:58 in English?」 The teacher smiled, didn』t know why though.
Easy! I blurted out: 「Two to two.」
Then, everyone in class started laughing! God, duped!
My fellow students, please remember my blood-earn lesson, never shave your head! :(
Never Shave Your Head 我的光頭日記
6月2日
看著校園裡越來越多的光頭在閃亮，我心裏又禁不住活泛了，說實話，從小到大除了剃滿月那次好像再沒讓腦袋見過光，所以，剃個光頭對我而言極具誘惑。
剛進大學，好像應該酷一酷，狠狠心，我朝理髮店走去。裡面還有幾個人在等，老闆說：「這麼短的頭髮，理平頭嗎？」
我說：「不，理光頭。」
老闆笑起來，對其他人說：「理光頭的優先吧，五分鐘就搞定了。」
十分鐘後我出了理髮店，頭皮上無拘無束的，摸摸，有點扎手。覺得自己像個和尚，又想自己說不定上輩子就是和尚出身呢。
回到宿舍，舍友們都驚訝不已，狂笑過後，每個人都忍不住上來摸一把，說：
「嗯，手感蠻好！」
「去去去！把我的頭當抹布了？誰再摸我腦袋我跟誰急!」
6月5日 晴得好難受
今天上網，忍不住把理光頭的消息告訴我外地的同學。想不到，他竟然給我講了一個笑話:
「一個女孩在浴室洗澡，家裡的鸚鵡大叫： 『看到了，看到了!』女孩生氣了，惡狠狠地對鸚鵡說:』再叫我就拔光你的毛!』
次日一光頭男子到女孩家做客，鸚鵡馬上飛到客人肩頭問道:』餵，你也看到了嗎?』」
說完故事，同學還一個勁地問我：「你，是不是幹什麼壞事了?」
我氣得差點暈倒……
6月10日 晴得一點新意都沒有
最近過得有點鬱悶……
今天下午的理論課我沒去上，這很平常，每節課都有人不去上的，我也不是第一次。可沒想到，上了半節課，老師環顧了一下教室，說：「今天好像有人逃課，沒來齊啊。」
大家在下面喊：「來齊了，來齊了。」老師慢條斯理地說：「那個光頭呢？我記得你們班有個光頭，他今天沒來吧？」
同學回頭把這事告訴我時，我心都酸了，看來以後別想曠課了……
欲哭無淚啊……
6月11日 拜託不要再晴了好不好
由於昨天的教訓，今天六節課我都去上了，可新的問題又出現了。比如我剛打個盹什麼的，老師「關懷」的目光就越過幾十號人立即過來了：
「那個光頭的同學，睡夠了沒有？」
我只好撐起眼皮看著他。
外系的老師都不怎麼認識咱們，平時點名都是看著花名冊或點學號，就像中獎一樣，點上誰誰倒霉，全看個人運氣。現在可好，老師根本不看花名冊，張口就來，請那位光頭同學……
好命苦。
6月18日 給下點雨吧
終於成功說服了其他兩個同學去理了光頭，我們班一共就有三個光頭了，我的噩夢被分擔了三分之二。
我很感激他們，把他們當知己，所以今天上英語課特意和他們坐一塊，光頭見光頭，照亮了半邊天，也照亮了老師的眼睛。
我們三人心不在焉地聽著課，這時，英語老師說：」請第二排第二個光頭同學站起來。「
我左看右看，明確了自己的地理位置，極不情願地站了起來。
「請問1點58分用英語怎麼表達？」老師面帶微笑，不知道他樂什麼。
這個簡單！我脫口而出：「Two to two。」(禿禿禿)
然後，全教室的人都笑趴了！天哪，又被耍了！
同學們，記住我血一般的教訓啊，千萬不要理光頭!
長喜歡樂英語
